Before starting my second practicum, my second-semester courses at TRU had already introduced us to curriculum design and encouraged critical reflection on early childhood education (ECE) theories and practices in contemporary society. With great enthusiasm, I stepped into the daycare, eager to observe the children, uncover their interests, and explore potential life-related topics for curriculum extension.
However, as my practicum progressed, the most profound lesson I learned wasn’t something I had anticipated from our classroom discussions—it was the importance of building boundaries with children.
In our Communication course, we briefly touched on the concept of boundaries in human interactions, particularly in the workplace, where setting healthy boundaries helps maintain professional relationships. But I hadn’t expected to deeply experience and reflect on this topic in a daycare setting—especially in the context of boundaries between children and between children and educators.
Children’s Journey Toward Being Capable and Strong
During my first practicum, I noticed that many children at Juniper exhibited a strong sense of capability, though some who had recently arrived in Canada were still in the process of adapting. These children often felt frustrated, as their teachers would say: “They are learning how to play.”
When I returned for my second practicum, I was amazed to see how much those same children had grown. For instance, W from China and K from Africa, who previously struggled with adaptation, now demonstrated confidence and independence—they could play alone or interact with peers and educators, and they could handle personal responsibilities such as:
– Putting on and taking off their clothes
-Placing their clothes in designated areas
– Carrying their used utensils to the basket
-Packing and unpacking their sleeping bags
-Cleaning up toys after playtime
How did they achieve this transformation? Beyond the belongings they have gained with the team, the key is by learning to set and respect boundaries.
Building Boundaries in Daily Life
Educators at the daycare consistently guide children in establishing boundaries in three key areas:
1️⃣ Physical Boundaries: Children learn to communicate when their personal space is being crossed, using words to express discomfort. They are encouraged to use I statements to say what they don’t like. Educators, on the other hand, only initiate physical contact when a child needs comfort during frustration or when they need assistance, such as getting unstuck during play. Otherwise, children are encouraged to problem-solve independently.
2️⃣ Boundaries Between Children: In addition to respecting physical space, children also learn to honor each other’s choices—such as asking before joining a game, accepting rejection, and following shared rules.
3️⃣ Boundaries Between Children and Educators: The boundaries between children and educators are well established in Juniper. What I focus on is between children and practicum students.
When student teachers enter a daycare, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries with children; otherwise, confusion can arise. Reflecting on my own experiences, I realized how important this awareness is.
My Boundary-Setting Challenges
Scenario 1: I Fell!
During my first few days back at the daycare, I was excited to interact with the children. One day, F and A invited me to play with them. We ran along the wooden pathway outside until I decided to stop. However, I didn’t clearly communicate my boundary—I didn’t tell them, “I’m tired and need a break. The game is over.” Instead, I simply stopped running.
Not picking up on this, the children continued playfully pulling at my clothes, and I ended up falling! It was quite an awkward moment.
Scenario 2: “Don’t Talk to Me!”
W and J, two boys who usually got along well, were playing a chasing game when J accidentally bumped into W, causing W to cry. As I approached to help, W, still upset, shouted, “Don’t talk to me!”
I tried to use I statements to describe what had happened and suggested that J apologize. However, W was not receptive—he even threw a glove at me in frustration. I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation and didn’t guide the interaction further.
The next day, when W’s family arrived to pick him up, I happened to be in the classroom. Upon hearing my voice from the washroom, W immediately told his family, “Don’t talk to her!”
At first, I overthought the situation, even wondering if this could be an issue of racial bias. But thankfully, the warm and insightful educators I worked with pointed out the real issue—boundaries.
Communicating Effectively to Build Boundaries
Reflecting on these experiences, I realized that if I had recognized the boundary issues early on and communicated them clearly using positive language, these unpleasant moments could have been avoided.
Here are some strategies for effectively establishing boundaries with children:
✅ Use positive and clear language to tell children what they can do instead of just saying “no.”
✅ Express feelings through I statements so children understand the impact of their actions rather than feeling blamed.
✅ Provide reasonable choices to give children autonomy within set boundaries.
✅ Use questions to guide children’s thinking instead of directly telling them what is right or wrong.
✅ Incorporate stories, role-playing, and visual cues to help children grasp the concept of boundaries more easily.
✅ Model respectful behavior, demonstrating how to set and maintain boundaries through our own actions.
Growing Together with Children
Being a student teacher has given me the opportunity to learn and grow alongside the children. Supporting them in establishing boundaries not only helps them explore freely but also teaches them self-discipline, respect for others, and healthy social skills—ultimately helping them grow into independent and responsible individuals.
